sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
