I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
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