Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
You left your phone here
Wait...
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize