Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
