I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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