Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
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