man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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