yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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