Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
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