Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
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