shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
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she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
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Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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