I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
