I heard we made out
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
