addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Why are your pants in the freezer?
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
