I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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