If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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