Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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