That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
