we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
love makes seman taste better
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
