he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
