I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
