Rock
Scissors
Fuck
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
