I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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