She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
