4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
