She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
