end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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