is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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