Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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