i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
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