What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
