im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
