It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
