He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
