one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
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