ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
