how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
