you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
