I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
