yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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