About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
