is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
