he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
