Duck Duck Cougar?
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
My balls are so social today.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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