Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Randomize