I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I wish I only lived at night.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
It's blow job season.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
