Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
