It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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