just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Randomize