I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
