is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
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My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
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You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
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