his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
