just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
There's even glitter on my cock...
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