I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Randomize
