Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize