There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
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