All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
