i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
