There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
