Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
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