I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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