VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
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