wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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