My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Gay?
German.
Pity.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
