Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
im six kinds of drunk right now
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
