My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
