you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize
