Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize